I didn’t like the idea that someone out there thought I was a bad person. So I’d make sure I was a good person. Like I would volunteer to drive my friends to the bar or listen to their problems. Don’t get me wrong, I want to do these things for them but people stopped asking me if I can be the driver. They just assumed I’d alway pick up and drop off every single person to their homes. And of course I want to be there for my friends when they have issues but I was feeling drained when it’s about the same problem over and over like a broken record. 

I was being taken for granted and the sad part was that I let it happen. 

I felt uncomfortable confronting people because I didn’t want to have issues or drama. I thought if I kept it civil everything would be rainbow and sunshine. BUT it cost my own voice to be in that state and the inability to communicate effectively.

On 2021 I started to work on myself. Truthfully it started with working with a coach to start my business. If you’re an entrepreneur you know that mindset is important.

That year I worked on how I was showing up to the world. Was I coming off happy, excited or in “meh” energy online and offline? I was introduced to feminine energy - a person that comes off soft, loving, confident, expressive and powerful. I thought to myself “that’s exactly the person I want to be” so I signed up for programs and 1-1 coaches on how I can bring out my feminine energy. By the end of the year I realized that I wasn’t feeling good about myself. I didn’t like that I was bending over backwards for other people. I wasn’t giving love to myself. Going to the gym, getting facials and mani/pedi wasn’t helping that much. If anything it was a temporary fix that I love to do for myself but I needed to dig deeper. 

The following year I worked with another coach to learn how to communicate and take charge of my own emotions. As we continued to work together the behaviour patterns of people pleasing emerged so much more than before from doing the mindset work.

I was a people pleaser because I thought that was what nice girls do. They help people like volunteering to be the driver, giving out my lecture notes to my “friends” and cancelling my plans to accommodate them. It showed up in every area of my life. I was told not to rock the boat and maintain the peace. It left me not being able to defend myself, communicate effectively and I started to lose myself. It showed in most areas of my life.

I agreed with people so we stopped fighting and end the argument. If I always said yes I’d be liked. I didn’t like the idea of someone out there hating me. It was more convenient and comfortable to comply to them than to have a conflict that left me feeling anxious during and after. I was expected to drop my plans so I can accommodate their needs and wants. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone so this happened a lot. This was me most of my life.

I eventually turned the focus to me. My values. My desires. My interests. My opinions. I dug deep on why I was wanting to please people so much. I learned to neutralize my emotions so I can communicate effectively.  Instead of agreeing with what others wanted to do I’d voice out my input. I learned to talk differently about myself and treated myself with love and respect.

I want to show you that the more attention you bring to yourself and less on others the happier you’ll be. I’m excited to be working with people all the world and if you’re ready send me a message!